Saboteur

Their names roll off your tongue to weigh heavy in my mind; they slip down, sinking below flesh to depths unbound. Anchors hooking and ripping from within—this jealousy that builds feels like a sin and I fear these self-sabotaging demons will win. You look at me and you see light and I feign a smile to hide the blight. You don’t see the darkness and the tendrils, and I’d rather they swallow me whole than let them spill into you, taking their toll. You’re pure and kind and I wish so badly for you to be mine. But I taint all that I love and I won’t let you be my crime. 

Photograph by @Anna Shevets